How to Relieve the Stress of Caring for an Aging Parent: Amy O'Rourke at TEDxOrlando

In a world where growing older can mean entering into a complex and confusing maze of difficult choices, Amy O’Rourke stands out as a passionate advocate …

In Home Senior Care NJ

28 Replies to “How to Relieve the Stress of Caring for an Aging Parent: Amy O'Rourke at TEDxOrlando”

  1. I want to respond to all the people who have commented that "she obviously is an administrator". Everyone has parents. How can you so easily assert that she just goes back to her "normal" life after work. You, are not listening to what she said. We can't fix it, no matter how much we'd like to change the situation. So, in order to preserve our sanity, we must learn to except some things and try to find things that are mutually uplifting. Please, let's stop reading things into other people's comments. Don't become "toxic" to one another. Continue to try and find the help you need. There are so many good people giving very good advice. Find the ones that work for you.

  2. Majors of the Presentation

    1. Don't deny the reality that your parents are getting old. Accept it and act accordingly.

    2. Don't try to become parents of your parents ,always treat them with the same respect . Parents just don't like it.

    You are responsible for your parents, don't insult them by bossing around.

    Don't go for the unnecessary checkups, if you are not going to do anything for final result.many checkup but no surgery.

    Aging is a one way transition.
    Always look for what your parents want , don't impose what you want for your parents. As young childrens, we try to reverse their process of aging.

    3. Aging or getting old is change of LifeStyle.
    Being with old age is a great opportunity to slow down and get into their perspective.

  3. I am a single child of my parents. I woke up one morning when I was 30 only to come back from a jog to see my father passed away from a heart attack. I quit my job to move inn to be with my mother (professor of Sociology at state university) and just when I was gaining momentum in life, mother was diagnosed with polymyositis ( autoimmune disorder) & astrocytoma grade III brain tumour. My world crashed. She underwent surgery n chemotherapy and three years later she has lost all speech n the function of a right hand. Did I came close to loosing my mind? Yes. Did I at one point of time thought of just running away till I eventually drop dead? Yes. Did I thought of abandoning my mother at a care home so that I can live a "happy" life? Yes. I am guilty of thinking all of this n more. YET! I love her more than my life and I stay put right here with her. Caring for her as much as possible. I am single so it hurts often not having anyone who can hold my hand n embrace me once in a while…but knowing that my mum smiles every morning when she see's me and sometimes folds my clothes with the same love that she had when I was a kid..makes me feel very very deep down inside that… I'm doing the RIGHT thing. Thank you

  4. An absolutely beautiful speach! Thank you for the compassion and understanding. Learning to connect with our parents in such a vulnerable time of life maybe the lesson of connection that we all need.

  5. Parents 94 and 93 just moved them into a retirement home and feeling guilty. Dad with dementia and mom with head trauma from fall recently.. your TED talk helped me. Want and need more. Thank you! Jerry Nichter

  6. God Bless You. If you only knew how I needed to hear that today! I do hate where it's going. I realize it's a part of life, but it is so hard and I so didn't think it would be this hard. Knowing that she'll be with my Dad and at peace is a blessing. Thank you for helping me understand why I feel the way I do a changes today because of you.

  7. I hate it I have no patience. Slowing down = frustration and annoyance and depression and anxiety. I am not cut out for elder care.

    I evacuated my parents from their retirement care home to isolate with me for the duration of the pandemic and they are driving me around the bend. I only just got them moved in to their retirement home in December! I do what I need to to get them looked after shopping done and meals on the table then lie in bed depressed. The best part of my life is when a good song comes on at No Frills supermarket. The sound of my mother's complaining nagging voice repeatedly nagging my demented father over and over again about the same things that do not matter is torture. They try to help but just generate chaos instead. Yes I can keep ahead of it but it is wearing. I wish she would just shut up.

  8. All i know is that I dont know what to do.
    You hit the nail in the head for me. I bursted into tears with your closing. Because I get that, this is a rear opportunity, I dont want to miss it. My mother had 5 kids, and this is all left to me. It is an honor, believe me…..
    What if you dont want it?
    It is such a lifestyle change that I dont think I can accept.
    I also get that it is not role reversal. I am very careful in the way I talk to my mother, my choice of words. She is still my mother, even if she needs me to monitor her.
    I just dont know what to do.

  9. When she said i love working with old people i know she full of it. No one want to care for old people especially in america. People are too busy with their lives or too busy enjoying their lives to take time care for an old person. Sad but its the truth. I would not want my kids to waste their time taking care of me when im old. I had my time and want them to enjoy theirs. So live your live when you can and let your kids live theirs. Dont hate them cause they cant take care of you.

  10. This woman’s talking in absolutes.… That’s how I know to turn off. I’m a little Less than halfway with no real knowledge… Then she starts saying never ever try to… Every situation is different. Didn’t really learn much here, but I did see the ultimate let me speak to your manager haircut

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